ahem [clears throat]
it is with deepest gratitude that i thank you for another free gift card to your store. i do so enjoy the spending of your own money on your own merchandise. after browsing your multitude of racks, stacks and displays i have returned to my most humble abode bearing a veritable princess of pillows. she is sharp and she is soft. she is jagged and she is straight. she is tough and she is fair. and now, she is mine.